MisterOwl, thanks very much! I gave such a mad laugh when I first read your post that my wife entered the room and scold me for waking the children. :D
Right off the bat, I would make the Bolthole a separate section, with its own options. It isn't interesting as a player to see that I HAVE to fill in a little circle. If I have to have it, then let me make options that will flesh it out like a Maestro-D's Establishment, or the Savvyhead's Workshop.
In fact, I'd do away with the practical weapons and lump everything together into Nomad gear. Make the player decide if they really need a gun at all! Maybe it's more exciting to have multiple pieces of cool gear (and I think a lot of the ideas you have there are pretty epic).
This is pure gold. Do you have something in mind for this, even as a first-start ? Im not familiar with the MaestroD, but I am with the Quarantine, which could serve as a basis. I will be thinking about something too.
As for your moves, I think that scavenger fails to impress. I think that it should be less about finding things that are hi -tek or luxe or whatever, but more about gaining narrative control over what you find. Here's my less than stellar attempt, just to get your gears churning:
Scavenger: when you spend some time searching through remnants
of the old times, roll+sharp.
On a 10+, you find precisely what you were looking for. Tell the MC what it looks like and what it does.
On a 7-9, the MC will ask you what you were looking for, and tell you how what you found is similar.
On a miss, you find trouble.
This gives you a huge say in what you find: the better you are at your job, the more say you have in the object.
While I agree with your point, I see two things that bother me in your example: 1. the 7-9 range dont really give you a hard choice or complication, something that could happen with the original move (if you look at it again, you will see that "You avoid serious trouble" over there, which means that if you hit it with 7-9, you will have some trouble spawned, be it harm, or contamination, or whatever happens to be coherent to the situation.) And 2. I find it too vague.
I came up whit this, see what you think:
Scavenger: when you spend some time searching through remnants of the old times, roll+sharp.
On a 10+,
you find precisely what you were looking for and then choose two. On a 7-9, choose one.
- you find something worth +1barter
- you find something that is +hi-tech
- you avoid serious trouble
- you do it quickly
*EDIT*
In the original Scrapper thread
HERE there is another version of scavenger. Perhaps using that as is could be a nice idea too. here, lemme transcribe it. See what you think.
Scavenger: when you search or scavenge, roll+sharp.
On a 10+, choose two and find an oddment worth 1-barter. On a
7–9, choose one and find an oddment worth 1-barter:
You find it quickly.
You find it with relatively little trouble
You find an item that is +1barter
You find an item that is +hi-tech
You find just the perfect thing
Well, pack rat is basically Fucking Thieves, so you can take that as an advance if you want. I'd replace it with something else
But Fucking Thieves is based on +weird while Pack Rat is on +sharp, no ? I think that could be an interesting move to have, even for other Sharp-based playbooks.
Here, I've turned remote detonator from gear into a move (again, this is not the best version of what this could be, just an idea I had):
It's a Minefield out there!: When you are being pursued and want to permanently erase your pursuit, roll +sharp to see how well you planned for this. On a 10+, your pursuer takes 3 harm AP from land mines or similar explosives. On a 7-9, your pursuer becomes trapped, slowed, or otherwise incapacitated. On a miss, sure you booby trapped the place, but so long ago you forgot the safe path, and become incapacitated yourself.
Hmm I think its too similar in concept to the "They would be crazy to follow me here" move, which already makes the terrain into a trap/weapon. Also, notice the remote detonator as a gear synergizes with this move (if you have both, the move makes +1harm).
Spooky also seems a bit strange to me, as a worse version of Sexy and Dangerous.
Yeah, I agree it feels half-assed. :P
Total Fucking Surrender: When you are backed into a corner, and have no escape, roll +Weird to abandon your instincts to the Psychic Maelstrom.
On a 10+, name a place. You find yourself there, some time later, with no memory of the interim.
On a 7-9, name a person. They come to you, confused and alarmed, without any idea what is happening.
On a miss, the Maelstrom has overtaken you for its own ends, until it decides to release you.
Weird! I have no idea if that's what you were looking for, but it's interesting to me.
This is more or less what I was looking for, yes. I like the idea of disappearing from sight of enemies like a ghost (its very Stalker! ) but loosing total control like that feels too weird. Dont know.
Thanks very much again! Please keep up with suggestions!