[untitled] 2.01b

Apologies for the resolution issues when you zoom into page width. I'd forgotten to render the images at the correct resolution so they become a bit grainy but I'll fix this soon enough.

The biggest addition in this version is the character sheets but I've rotated around the text somewhat to make it a bit more readable and there's also the option of a different font if you find the default hard to read. There's a few extra things I might add in later but they're more superfluous than necessary.

I was also wondering if anyone knew any places that might be good to playtest this, including conventions (specifically in Canada or the UK, ideally) or other suggestions that have tended to work for others (like websites or whatever).

Anyway, hope you like this but feel free to leave any criticism.

Click.
Click (alternate font).

By the way, if anyone wants to view more artwork, it was done by a good friend of mine. Click.

Whoa. This is neat.

-Vincent

Very sleek. I like the clearness in which you build up your game and the FAQ section is fine. A bit more art and a nice cover and its already near to something rounded up for my taste.

Holy shit I love what you've done with the character sheets. I remember 2.0 wasn't coherent enough to really turn me on and get me writing a post, but I loved the art, and the visuals are still your strong suit - this is a really great entanglement of visuals and mechanics.

For the Network: It would be worth clarifying that the trust bubbles represent your contact's trust towards you, and not yours towards them.

For the AI: There could be more detail on what volatility means. Leave the specifics to the admin, but outline the scale of the problems that can result from each level of volatility, even just comparatively - volatility 3 is 10 times worse than volatility 2, for instance. More broadly, telling the reader they're free to do something - admins and players alike - is useless, because of course they're free to do whatever they want with the game in the first place. Either tell them what to do ("Admins decide what volatility means.") and, if you can, how to do it, or leave it out entirely (But that doesn't work in this case, so do the first one - this is pretty much for when you can't tell them how to do it effectively). I also really love the way you've built this image of a terrible cut-throat AI ecosystem because I absolutely love any of that law of the jungle shit, especially since you've transposed it onto technology in a really poetic, effective way.

For the Warlord: I am so happy with the Havoc angle you took on this and I want rules to describe the scale and intensity of havocs you can produce, and guidelines on how they unfold. Doing this well would take a lot of research. Havoc's mechanics as is are lacklustre - consider including a bit which describes how the penalties tend to express themselves (ie. Havoc coming back on you) or better yet, say for instance that a 10+ guarantees zero fucked up things will happen to you as the havoc you're causing reverberates, 7-9 guarantees one and 6- guarantees 2-3. You can also scale across the intensity of the fucked up thing as well as the number, ie. a 10+ might still mean that something a little fucked up happens to you, an inconvenience, and 6- means a bunch of inconveniences, a permanent inconvenience or something totally fucked up, a major setback.

This is all the feedback I can afford to give right now - I hope it helps!

P.S. Am I supposed to capitalise the "The" on your playbooks?

@lumpley Glad you like it! It still needs a few tweaks but I'm happy with the overall direction of this so far.

@Schwarzkreuz The clarity is actually an interesting point for me; I was worried about it being too convoluted in terms of the order the information presented so it's good to know you found the opposite true yourself. As far as art goes; all things being well, my friend will be doing a couple more pieces to flesh this out and a cover page is a good idea; I'd actually completely forgotten about that!

@spigot The character sheets took a while to nail down in terms of the design so it's good that they're being received well! I agree, 2.0 was somewhat messy but you're right about the focus being on both the art and mechanics.

the network: good point. I'll be adding that into the next version.

the AI: as far as volatility it goes, I think you're right about clarifying the difference between levels. And i should also be more specific with those kinds of guidelines too. That actually feeds into a broader point; I need to do a pass through the whole thing and cut out some of the redundant text I know is lurking around. I'm glad you like the AI overall too! Hopefully each class feels a bit different from each other and it's encouraging to know the angle I was going for came through for you.

the warlord: havoc is an interesting stat to me because it's quite difficult to contain in one number, so to speak. There are definitely holes in it at the moment, as you say. I'll try to see how I can change my description so it's a little more informative. Perhaps I should roll into to some of the other warlord characteristics.

Keeping everything lowercase (apart from AI because it looks a bit odd) is actually part of a broader aesthetic I'm going for and has a bit to do with programming. So yes, you were right not to capitalise the 'the'!

The feedback you've given was great and definitely helps me with what I'm going to do in the next version.

All of your guys' comments thus far have been useful. I was kind of apprehensive about whether this sort of thing would work at all so it's encouraging to hear pretty positive things coming out of this version.

Thanks!