A Very Domino Christmas

That night all the Lepers sat 'round the fire,
Waiting for Pij to go fetch a spare tire.

There was a long silence before their boss spoke,
And Domino said, “So uh, how'd Sorrow croak?”

The Lepers all answered with one vacant stare,
Until Scabs replied, “Eh, who the fuck cares?”

Then Stein interrupted, for really no reason,
And said, “I found this book on the Christmas season?”

Domino nodded, and gave a slight smile,
Then said, “You gonna be around for a while?”

“We ain't got nobody hot on our trail,”
“So why don't we relax, and I'll tell you a tale.”

Everybody got quiet, they all understood,
He was not to be fucked with, nobody could.

“Alright you fuckers, now lend me your ears.”
“I'll tell you a story you'll remember for years.”

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Commons,
Not a Leper was stirring, not even Gonzales.

Security sauntered 'round without care,
In the hopes some dumb fucker would even dare.

I jolted awake thinkin' something amiss,
Only to realize I just needed to piss.

As I stumbled outside I looked up at the ship,
And above was some geezer loosing his grip.

The fat man fell to the ground with a thud,
But on closer inspection I didn't see blood.

Nearby was a sack and a large broken sleigh,
I picked up the bag and thought, “My lucky day!”

As I turned to drag off the bundle of toys,
I heard: “Wait! Those are for good girls and boys!”

It seemed that the geezer wasn't quite dead,
So I pulled out my magnum and aimed for the head.

“Stop!” He shouted, evidently displeased,
“If you just wait I could cure your disease!”

“No cure for you if I end up dead.”
“But first deliver these toys in my stead!”

I waited a moment and considered my luck,
Only to shrug and say, “Eh, what the fuck?”

The old man gave directions and I listened well,
And then I departed to go raise some hell.

I picked up the sack, straining my wrist,
And then I took a quick look over the list.

There were few familiar names I could see,
However, I noticed one guy's name was Nee.

I ran up to the med-bay and said: “What's up Doc?”
Then I opened my sack and I gave him three stock.

As I tossed the equipment right into his face,
I looked into his bedroom, and I noticed Grace.

“What the hell's with the Leper?” She said in a tizzy,
I smiled and said, “Now don't make yourself dizzy.”
I pulled out a handbrake, only partially gnawed,
I threw it and said, “Apply this you dumb broad!”

I took off before they could even react,
Which is good, by the look of things they might have attacked.

I jumped on my bike and turned for Highroad,
Hoping this trip would lighten my load.

At the gate I was greeted by none other than Doyle,
So I thought, “What the hell?” and threw him some oil.

Inside I saw Mekkan, all decked out in camo,
So I opened my bag, and gave him more ammo.
Then Kessler walked up asking: “Something for me?”
But I glanced at the list and saw that he'd been naughty.

I shrugged and said, “Maybe next year, dear friend.”
Then I hightailed it out, bullets grazing my head.

There was one other place I needed to go,
The Distillery, the source of the wasteland's woe.

As I entered the city, it was then I saw Arty,
She wasn't exactly the life of the party.

I said, “So Arty, I heard you like beating your kin.”
“I got something for you to dole out discipline.”

I reached into the sack and pulled out a stick,
I said, “If this doesn't do it, just give 'em a kick.”

My last present was for Marilyn, that horrible person,
“Here have this lozenge, hope your throat doesn't worsen!”

I then headed home, sick of running around,
However, the fat-ass was nowhere to be found.

I saw something above in the corner of my eye,
Then I discovered the geezer was up in the sky.

“You've done a good job,” his voice rang like a choir,
“But I can't cure your disease, I'm pretty big liar.”

I yelled and screamed and shot in the air,
Eventually though I just didn't care.

“If I can't inspire love, then I'll inspire fear!”
“So merry fucking Christmas, and a happy new year.”