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Apocalypse World / Feedback on moves for a new playbook?
« on: August 15, 2013, 06:56:43 AM »
I'm slowly working on making a new playbook.
The basic concept is to make a trader and a fixer. Someone who's good at getting the things others want, be it stuff or information, for a profit naturally.
The goal playbook however isn't to become rich but to get people beholden to you. Either by being everyone's go to guy no one wants to alienate or by being a scrooge like figure people literally owe their lives to.
I mostly done but I would want some feedback on the moves. Which are good, which are bad, which needs work and which are fine as they are.
This includes the sex move and it's special rule
Also since English isn't my primary language I need to know that they are as clear and understandable as I hope.
Here's the moves with comments in parenthesis.
MOVES
Trading.
At the start of every session and during down times roll+sharp for Trading.
On 10+ you get sharp in profit. On 7-9 you get 1 barter profit. On a miss things went sour.
(The first of the moves the playbook gets from the start. Self-explanatory. It needs barter to function, this gives it.)
It's a deal.
At another character's request you can perform one of your character moves or the barter moves on their part in which case you make the roll but that character pays any costs and suffers any consequences. It's up to you if you want to do it for free or not.
(The second move the playbook gets from the start. A bit redundant as it doesn't do anything except spell out that you can trade on another character's behalf and setting up the synergy with Haggle and barter rolls for other characters.)
Information is a commodity too.
Roll +barter (Min +1, Max +3). On a roll of 10+ hold 3, on 7-9 hold 1 and at the MC's option it comes out that you've been asking around. On a miss lose all barter anyway and it comes out that you've been asking around.
Where can I find ___?
What's the deal with ____?
What's the cost of ____?
Who's looking for me?
How can I placate/threaten ___?
What's ___ weakness?
(Not much to say. The move that allows you to play an information broker too.)
Haggle.
You always count as having +1ongoing on all roll +barter rolls. If you are making the roll on behalf of another character in addition to the bonus, you get 1 barter for free.
(Makes you superior trading stuff. Plus incentive to have you trade on other character's behalf as it always earns you one free barter. Is it clear that you get the extra barter for free out of the blue and not that the other character has to pay you an extra barter?)
Business Savvy. +1 sharp ( max 3)
(What it says. Sharp is the playbook's main stat.)
I'm just the middleman.
When you personally suffer the consequences for Information is a commodity too and Make known that you want a thing and spend jingle to speed it on its way, roll + sharp.
On a roll of 10+ name another character who suffers the consequences in your place. On 7-9 as for 10+ but the character learns that you set him up. On a miss you suffer the consequences and the character learns that you tried to set him up. Regardless the roll the character gets +1 Hx with you.
(Love this move as it so sets up drama. It's a move that will have a MC pray for a roll under 10. Not sure if the other character should mark Hx or experience. Hx feels natural but since you totally fuck over the other character experience feels more fair.
Good business contacts.
If another character suffers any consequences of you failing a barter or trader move roll on their behalf, you can negate the consequences if the character can and want to pay the original prize of the roll once more.
(Another move to entice other PC's to trade through you and possible burn a lot of barter. Hopefully making them loan money from you. Feels a bit forced.)
A pound of flesh.
As long as you got the barter you can loan it to another character. Until you have been repaid you have +1forward in all dealings with that character each session including the first one. Plus there is always the interest.
(The Ebeneser Scrooge move. The only move that sets up the special rule.)
Special Rule: Interest
A character in debt to the trader has to pay 1 barter interest at the start of each session. If the character lacks the funds to do this you get 1 hold on the character. At any time during the session you can spend that hold to make the character:
Betray someone close to the character.
Perform a service for you.
Take a beating in your place.
Sacrifice something dear to the character
Add 1 barter to the total sum of the loan.
If a debtor refuses it counts as acting under fire and you add an additional 1 barter to the debt.
Each time you use your hold the debtor mark +1 Hx with you. If this brings the debtor past 4 Hx, mark experience and reset to Hx+1.
A debtor can at any time pay off a debt or parts of a debt and you can at any time write off a debt.
(Basically, a rule that let's you own another character ass as long as that character is indebted to you. Like with the middleman move I'm not sure if give the debtor Hx or experience. Hx feels more natural, xp more fair. On the other hand with xp the rule has the potential of being exploited as it then essentially give a character a free xp each session.
Also, does it need extra rules for NPCs?)
Trader special move
When you have sex with another character they get +1forward to any trader or barter moves you perform for their sake.
(Yeah, sleeping with the store owner will get you a discount. :D )
That's all of them.
The one thing I'm concerned with is that many moves is a bit passive and all of them are PC centric.
To get to use some of your moves you need another PC to come to you. If this doesn't happen the moves doesn't do anything. This certainly encourage you to interact with the other PCs to have them come to you. But the other PCs can easily neutralize you by just ignoring you.
Also as they are now the mostly just affect the other PCs. The playbook doesn't really have move to affect NPCs. Mostly because NPCs doesn't need the barter moves. I would love a way to make NPC's indebted through a move. Just don't now how.
The basic concept is to make a trader and a fixer. Someone who's good at getting the things others want, be it stuff or information, for a profit naturally.
The goal playbook however isn't to become rich but to get people beholden to you. Either by being everyone's go to guy no one wants to alienate or by being a scrooge like figure people literally owe their lives to.
I mostly done but I would want some feedback on the moves. Which are good, which are bad, which needs work and which are fine as they are.
This includes the sex move and it's special rule
Also since English isn't my primary language I need to know that they are as clear and understandable as I hope.
Here's the moves with comments in parenthesis.
MOVES
Trading.
At the start of every session and during down times roll+sharp for Trading.
On 10+ you get sharp in profit. On 7-9 you get 1 barter profit. On a miss things went sour.
(The first of the moves the playbook gets from the start. Self-explanatory. It needs barter to function, this gives it.)
It's a deal.
At another character's request you can perform one of your character moves or the barter moves on their part in which case you make the roll but that character pays any costs and suffers any consequences. It's up to you if you want to do it for free or not.
(The second move the playbook gets from the start. A bit redundant as it doesn't do anything except spell out that you can trade on another character's behalf and setting up the synergy with Haggle and barter rolls for other characters.)
Information is a commodity too.
Roll +barter (Min +1, Max +3). On a roll of 10+ hold 3, on 7-9 hold 1 and at the MC's option it comes out that you've been asking around. On a miss lose all barter anyway and it comes out that you've been asking around.
Where can I find ___?
What's the deal with ____?
What's the cost of ____?
Who's looking for me?
How can I placate/threaten ___?
What's ___ weakness?
(Not much to say. The move that allows you to play an information broker too.)
Haggle.
You always count as having +1ongoing on all roll +barter rolls. If you are making the roll on behalf of another character in addition to the bonus, you get 1 barter for free.
(Makes you superior trading stuff. Plus incentive to have you trade on other character's behalf as it always earns you one free barter. Is it clear that you get the extra barter for free out of the blue and not that the other character has to pay you an extra barter?)
Business Savvy. +1 sharp ( max 3)
(What it says. Sharp is the playbook's main stat.)
I'm just the middleman.
When you personally suffer the consequences for Information is a commodity too and Make known that you want a thing and spend jingle to speed it on its way, roll + sharp.
On a roll of 10+ name another character who suffers the consequences in your place. On 7-9 as for 10+ but the character learns that you set him up. On a miss you suffer the consequences and the character learns that you tried to set him up. Regardless the roll the character gets +1 Hx with you.
(Love this move as it so sets up drama. It's a move that will have a MC pray for a roll under 10. Not sure if the other character should mark Hx or experience. Hx feels natural but since you totally fuck over the other character experience feels more fair.
Good business contacts.
If another character suffers any consequences of you failing a barter or trader move roll on their behalf, you can negate the consequences if the character can and want to pay the original prize of the roll once more.
(Another move to entice other PC's to trade through you and possible burn a lot of barter. Hopefully making them loan money from you. Feels a bit forced.)
A pound of flesh.
As long as you got the barter you can loan it to another character. Until you have been repaid you have +1forward in all dealings with that character each session including the first one. Plus there is always the interest.
(The Ebeneser Scrooge move. The only move that sets up the special rule.)
Special Rule: Interest
A character in debt to the trader has to pay 1 barter interest at the start of each session. If the character lacks the funds to do this you get 1 hold on the character. At any time during the session you can spend that hold to make the character:
Betray someone close to the character.
Perform a service for you.
Take a beating in your place.
Sacrifice something dear to the character
Add 1 barter to the total sum of the loan.
If a debtor refuses it counts as acting under fire and you add an additional 1 barter to the debt.
Each time you use your hold the debtor mark +1 Hx with you. If this brings the debtor past 4 Hx, mark experience and reset to Hx+1.
A debtor can at any time pay off a debt or parts of a debt and you can at any time write off a debt.
(Basically, a rule that let's you own another character ass as long as that character is indebted to you. Like with the middleman move I'm not sure if give the debtor Hx or experience. Hx feels more natural, xp more fair. On the other hand with xp the rule has the potential of being exploited as it then essentially give a character a free xp each session.
Also, does it need extra rules for NPCs?)
Trader special move
When you have sex with another character they get +1forward to any trader or barter moves you perform for their sake.
(Yeah, sleeping with the store owner will get you a discount. :D )
That's all of them.
The one thing I'm concerned with is that many moves is a bit passive and all of them are PC centric.
To get to use some of your moves you need another PC to come to you. If this doesn't happen the moves doesn't do anything. This certainly encourage you to interact with the other PCs to have them come to you. But the other PCs can easily neutralize you by just ignoring you.
Also as they are now the mostly just affect the other PCs. The playbook doesn't really have move to affect NPCs. Mostly because NPCs doesn't need the barter moves. I would love a way to make NPC's indebted through a move. Just don't now how.