Step back. Ask yourself what love letters are for.
Love letters create interesting and charged situations. As such, the Battlebabe letter isn't bad because it's mean on the Battlebabe, (though a hard roll?) it's bad because unless they roll a 7-9 and get a prisoner then you've mostly resolved the situation within the letter.
Do you see what I mean? Seems to me that having a prisoner is the most interesting outcome, so I'd probably be looking at something like.
You get jumped settling in to your new crib. roll+cool.
On a hit, nice, you got yourself a prisoner. On a 10+ choose one. On a 7-9 choose two.
- you eat 2 harm in the process
- you aren't exactly gentle with them. They're going to need medical attention before they come round.
- someone is going to have to take a long look at you custom gun before it fires straight again.
(that last option feels a bit out there. You can probably think of something more relevant.)
On a miss, you drive them off. But not before they make you eat 2 harm of pain.