AW Demo custom moves... feed back please!

Happy Friday everyone!

I've made up a few custom moves for an upcoming Demo (and future demo's)
want to get some feed back>

I'm looking to introduce custom moves, and keep it generic to allow players to have options to use a different stat based on their Strengths OR what they'd like to do...

1st one is to set up future moves for that scene, added option to use a X Basic Move so the player has more choice.
2nd one is a generic - get some $ or something interesting.
3rd is travel.

here they are:

1.

BELLY UP TO THE BAR!
When you want something and go into a Holdings bustling Market place, or enter an establishment…

Roll +Sharp if you’re looking to Wheel & Deal
Roll +Hard if you’re looking to Throw Down
Roll +Cool if you’re looking to Get in or out of Trouble
Roll +Hot if you’re looking to bring your Sexy-Back
Roll +Weird if you’re looking to get Fucked-Up

On a 10+ Pick 2, On a 7-9 pick 1 with strings attached, I’ll tell you what.

*The person you wanted to see is there, Name them, or let Mc Detail, you choose.
*You get down to business: Name them, or Mc details, you choose. +1 Forward to a Sharp, basic move with them.
*You catch them vulnerable:  Name them, or Mc details, you choose. +1 Forward to a Hard basic move with them.
*You put your best moves on: Name them, or Mc details, you Choose. +1 Forward to a Hot basic move with them this scene.
*You see a golden opportunity to do it: Name your plan, +1 forward to a Cool basic move for this scene.
*You get your Fix (describe) and you’re Blissed out, +1 forward to a Weird basic move.
On a Miss your Mc will make a move. Enjoy!
Love & Kisses, your MC.

2.

When you GO 4TH Looking To $CORE,
Tell me who’s going, and to where, then,

If you Bust down the door, Guns a Blaz’in, Roll +Hard.
If you Sneak in and NINJA that Shit, Roll +Cool.
If you LOVE IT when a PLAN comes together, Roll +Sharp.
If you got an IDEA so CRAZY, it’ll work, Roll +Weird.
If you Fuck ‘em, then Fuck ‘em Over, Roll +Hot.

On a 10+ pick 3. On a 7-9, Pick 1 & but something went wrong.

*You find something or someone of value (pick one); they, or it embodies; Hard, Cool, Sharp, Hot, or Weird (pick one).
*Gain +Barter from Raiding, Scavenging, Stealing, Deal making (honest or dishonest), fucking, or honest work (pick one).   
*You or your people didn’t make any enemies.
*You or your people didn’t get hurt.

On a Miss, it’s not going to be Pretty…I get to make a move. Enjoy!
Love & Kisses, your MC.

3.

When you travel though the WASTELAND,

If you go HARD and FAST, Roll +Hard.
If you PROCEED with CAUTION, Roll +Cool.
If you make a PLAN and FOLLOW IT THROUGH, Roll +Sharp.
If you FOLLOW your BRAIN, Roll +Weird (you Fucking wack-job).
If you SHOW SOME LEG and GET A FREE RIDE, Roll +Hot.

On a 10+ You get all 3.
On a 7-9 Pick 1 & there’s a hitch… I’ll tell you what:

*You get there!
*You didn’t get into any trouble!
*You didn’t make any enemies!

On a Miss... I make a move... Enjoy!
 Love & Kisses, your MC.


---------Thanks in Advance, HankleVonCrankle

These moves are all kind of tweaking me out on a sort of ideological level, since super-generic-trigger, use-any-stat moves seem fundamentally counter to what makes AW mechanics fun, but ignoring that and focusing on the moves...

Belly Up To The Bar -- many results refer to 'them', but the move itself does not mention people at all. If this is a move that always results in meeting an NPC, that should be clear in the description, e.g. 'On a hit, you find someone who can help you...'

Reading the results more carefully I see that you do have a single result that mentions finding an NPC -- in fact it kind of looks like the first 3-4 results are linked, and you are assuming they will always use one of their hold to choose that first result, then use a second hold to pick one of the others. This is not good move design because it creates a false choice -- the PCs need to be able to choose anything on the list with their first hold, but as it stands it doesn't make much sense if someone only picks 'You put your best moves on...' -- who do they get the bonus with?

In general this move just feels like a bunch of moves stuck together (see my opening paragraph), but I do like that in theory you could Throw Down in order to get your fix, or get Fucked Up in order to meet a useful NPC -- but the way the move is written (with what look like a bunch of matching pairs) doesn't really emphasize that as much as it could.

Also if all the choices give a +1 forward you can probably make things much cleaner if you just specify 'On a hit, choose X and take +1 forward to your next related roll' or 'take +1 forward to your next roll with your chosen +stat'.

I would recommend simply having a useful NPC appear on any hit (give them the first result for free) and giving +1 forward (not stat-specific) to any follow-up move. This will make the list of choices read much faster/cleaner, and removing the +1 to individual stats on each choice will also play down the 'linked pair' idea and encourage players to just pick whatever one they want.

When You Go 4th...

Okay I take it back about ignoring my philosophical objections. This move is not a good move, and you should not use it or anything like it in your game.

This is like playing D&D and when the players enter the dungeon you are like 'okay now roll d20 and add your best stat and that's how many monsters you kill, let's roll up treasure.' The scope of this move is too broad and it is short-cutting what should be a source of major play in the game. If somebody wants to raid for barter, that's like... they should do it. Like, piece by piece, with you as MC naming NPCs and barfing forth apocalyptica and making hard moves, etc.

The game already has ways for players to get barter mechanically -- the Hardholder and the Hocus are playbooks based largely around this ability, in fact. But those playbooks have consequences and specific responsibilities and specific colour built in -- if the Hardholder screws up his barter-getting move you know exactly what that looks like, and the consequences are severe, because being able to just roll to get barter is kind of a big deal. Giving it to everybody and letting them all use their best stats makes no sense -- even if it wasn't also a bad idea simply on a scope-of-the-fiction level.

The Wasteland move is non-offensive to the point of just being really boring. The reason specific moves that use specific stats and trigger off specific events are good is because they're interesting: they tell you something about the world that the PCs are living in. Or in this case about the wasteland they are trying to cross. A Wasteland that requires +cool to cross is obviously a very different place than one where you need to be +hard to get through, or +weird -- each has its own set of implications, and creates opportunities for different characters.

Same with the results tables -- a wasteland where the main threat is avoiding raiders is a different wasteland from one where the main thing is to not get radiation poisoning, or be attacked by wild dogs, or accidentally open your brain to the psychic maelstrom.

This move basically has no reason to exist, fictionally or mechanically, because it says nothing about the world and it produces no specifically-interesting results. Especially because you are again letting players use their best stat, so they're even less likely to fail or get a mixed result.

If the goal is a demo of the game, the world needs to be specific and punchy and evocative -- not totally general to the point of non-existence. A good demo narrows things down so that players can immediately get inside of the good stuff -- you need to pre-barf apocalyptica, set up a strong situation and a specific sort of world, so that players immediately know what sort of things they can be doing, and what sort of things in the world are interesting.

They also need hard choices -- they need to want to do things that they are not good at, and setting up all these moves where they are majorly incentivized to just use their best stat (meaning also: to do a very narrow set of things in the fiction) is not going to demonstrate Apocalypse World's strengths.

Thanks for the imput Daniel!
Good stuff

Hankle