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brainstorming & development / [Dark Galaxy]Death Dancer Playbook Feedback
« on: May 31, 2012, 07:19:10 PM »
Okay, to give context to this, I'm playing in the PbP advertised here (http://apocalypse-world.com/forums/index.php?topic=2734.0), using the Dark Galaxy hack.
While I have been giving the MC a steady stream of comments about the playbook I'm using (the Commander), the Death Dancer also caught my eye. That can (hopefully) be found here:
https://docs.google.com/folder/d/0B06M_51wBJSFNzY1MDhmY2EtYzA1Ny00NDU4LThhMDktYmZjOTVmODlhNzg0/edit?pli=1&docId=1XTj_vScoWCoB6Q7I6P5OVSPyVrseInwXDVA7BWfnly4.
Unfortunately, he's not the one who made that playbook, so suggested I hash my thoughts out with the author here (they know to look here). I can't speak for the author as to how open they'd be about others offering their thoughts, but if he'd accept mine, there's no reason why he wouldn't listen to other people (though you may with to wait for them to confirm/deny that).
Okay, so that's the situation, the suggestions:
There's lots of good, inspiring stuff there, but I do feel it has some flaws. The big one is, it has 9 moves. Nine!
Dance of death
It's not just murder, it's an art
Swear an Oath
Ice Cold Charm
Surgical Precision
Eye on the Door
Hypnotise
Deliver death
Death lab
And a character can only get 5 of them max (without then changing character and using other playbook move advances to get more, or something equally silly).
So, I had some suggestions for how you might want to cut the numbers down a bit.
Firstly, 'It's not just murder' and 'Deliver death' are similar enough to combine. Deliver death can be used against PCs (implicitly), and 'not just murder' can't, but that's the only loss I see in just cutting Deliver death out, and it's one I actually prefer - poisoning PCs shouldn't (IMO) be a one-move thing. Oh, and you could technically use non-lethal poisons using 'deliver death' (ironically enough), so a small rephrase of 'not just murder' might be needed to avoid losing that.
I feel death lab should either be standard, or a non-move advance, preferably standard. Mostly because, assuming it works like a savvyhead's workbench, it doesn't get cool stuff in and of itself, but it gives you more avenues to get cool stuff, and makes you always want stuff to build your latest 'toys'. Wanting stuff is good.
Swear an oath, while arguable, I say should be another standard feature (yes, they're getting a lot of standard features, but other classes get ships and armies, so it's not ridiculously excessive). With the caveat that the sacrifice should be non-trivial, and the more dangerous the mission, the more specific the sacrifice has to be, and the harder it is/more consequenceful it is to acquire. One key reason is, it ensures the temptation to make the sacrifice is always there, rather than having the 'barrier' of having to buy the move first.
And that takes it down to 6 moves, which is, I believe, fairly standard.
Other points:
There's no way to gain more killing edges. I feel an advance could be useful to add a couple more options.
Under 'looks', there are options for signature weapons which don't appear later (such as 'bow').
There are a few other minor things, but we're not talking anything that affects mechanics, so it's not important.
While I have been giving the MC a steady stream of comments about the playbook I'm using (the Commander), the Death Dancer also caught my eye. That can (hopefully) be found here:
https://docs.google.com/folder/d/0B06M_51wBJSFNzY1MDhmY2EtYzA1Ny00NDU4LThhMDktYmZjOTVmODlhNzg0/edit?pli=1&docId=1XTj_vScoWCoB6Q7I6P5OVSPyVrseInwXDVA7BWfnly4.
Unfortunately, he's not the one who made that playbook, so suggested I hash my thoughts out with the author here (they know to look here). I can't speak for the author as to how open they'd be about others offering their thoughts, but if he'd accept mine, there's no reason why he wouldn't listen to other people (though you may with to wait for them to confirm/deny that).
Okay, so that's the situation, the suggestions:
There's lots of good, inspiring stuff there, but I do feel it has some flaws. The big one is, it has 9 moves. Nine!
Dance of death
It's not just murder, it's an art
Swear an Oath
Ice Cold Charm
Surgical Precision
Eye on the Door
Hypnotise
Deliver death
Death lab
And a character can only get 5 of them max (without then changing character and using other playbook move advances to get more, or something equally silly).
So, I had some suggestions for how you might want to cut the numbers down a bit.
Firstly, 'It's not just murder' and 'Deliver death' are similar enough to combine. Deliver death can be used against PCs (implicitly), and 'not just murder' can't, but that's the only loss I see in just cutting Deliver death out, and it's one I actually prefer - poisoning PCs shouldn't (IMO) be a one-move thing. Oh, and you could technically use non-lethal poisons using 'deliver death' (ironically enough), so a small rephrase of 'not just murder' might be needed to avoid losing that.
I feel death lab should either be standard, or a non-move advance, preferably standard. Mostly because, assuming it works like a savvyhead's workbench, it doesn't get cool stuff in and of itself, but it gives you more avenues to get cool stuff, and makes you always want stuff to build your latest 'toys'. Wanting stuff is good.
Swear an oath, while arguable, I say should be another standard feature (yes, they're getting a lot of standard features, but other classes get ships and armies, so it's not ridiculously excessive). With the caveat that the sacrifice should be non-trivial, and the more dangerous the mission, the more specific the sacrifice has to be, and the harder it is/more consequenceful it is to acquire. One key reason is, it ensures the temptation to make the sacrifice is always there, rather than having the 'barrier' of having to buy the move first.
And that takes it down to 6 moves, which is, I believe, fairly standard.
Other points:
There's no way to gain more killing edges. I feel an advance could be useful to add a couple more options.
Under 'looks', there are options for signature weapons which don't appear later (such as 'bow').
There are a few other minor things, but we're not talking anything that affects mechanics, so it's not important.