Dark Magical Girl Hack

I've been working on this Puella Magi Madoka Magica-inspired hack for a while, and even though it's not complete, I think it's playable and I feel comfortable sharing it and getting feedback. I haven't playtested it yet (or even shared it in other places), so a lot might change in the future.

Without further ado, this is: Sad Magical Girls.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B2yOdYogdvDEQlNpVjk2Q19ES1E?usp=sharing

"Before the mascot came to you, you thought you were just a teenage girl who lived in the city. But now that he’s told you who you are, you know you’re the reincarnation of someone powerful and magical. In a burst of light and flower petals, you can transform into a beautiful, strong version of yourself with special powers, a magical costume, and a made-for-merchandise weapon. You’re not just a teenage girl; you’re a magical girl.
 
It’s cool, but not as rosy as it sounds. See, the reason the mascot awakened your powers is that there’s evil in this city. Not just bad people, but monsters. The city is full of geists, monsters from another reality - maybe the veil is weak here, or maybe people’s minds are really tasty here. It’s your duty to fight the geists, and it’ll be easier if you have the support of the other magical girls.
 
That’s not easy, though. Not all of you like each other, or even trust each other. The more you learn about each other’s past lives, the more complicated things get. Everyone wants the dream seeds the geists drop. And you’re not sure your mascot is telling the whole truth.
 
Finally, the void looms in the unknown. What secrets does it keep?"

Any help or feedback would definitely be appreciated, but things I'd really really love include:
-A better name than Sad Magical Girls
-People interested in playtesting (we can do it over Skype or Discord!)
-Ideas for new playbooks

Firstly, SQUEEEEEE

Ok. Phew. Got that out of my system.

All of my friends are boring so I it is very unlikely that I will be able to playtest this IRL. SUPER interested in a discord game, but I'd probably only be able to do PbP.

Mild feedback: Using different stats for different enemy types is interesting, and is probably geared towards giving different playbooks the spotlight for different fights. Current life and past life are neat as anything, and "Playbooks Fly Open" is something I'll be keeping in going forward for every type of game.

Looking nice.

Hi Spwack,

Thank you for your kind words, and your squee!

I'm actually most used to playing things in PbP (if you mean play by post?), although I don't have much experience GMing Apocalypse World (most of my experience is completely freeform RPs). So, if you're interested in playtesting, PbP or not, I am willing to be a part of it.

In response to the mild feedback: that part about multiple stat/geist types is pretty much it. That, and I feel like attacking geists is so intrinsic to being a magical girl that it's not really fair to say only one kind of magical girl specializes in it.

Made a few moderately big changes, and am thinking of a better name.
-Made a questionnaire about the setting, for the MC and players to answer together, which in theory lets you collaboratively and quickly get the setting together (rather than the MC having to do it all on their own).
-Added instructions on pointing out the most relevant info for choosing a playbook to the players (that info is probably the descriptions under "Introducing the..." and "Fleshing Out the..."), although the playbooks should be able to explain themselves pretty well.
-Speaking of which, modified "Fleshing Out the..." so it now has a list of objectives for the playbook, and says that one way you might change is by questioning the objectives. Not sure if that's a good idea, but people have told me they like the idea of objectives for the girls to follow.

Finally, names I'm considering:
-Dream Maidens
-Puellae Tenebris
-Puellae Tenebris * Coruscent Somnia
-Sparkle of Dreams

Any opinions on this?

"Sparkle Dreams" has a nice ring to it, slips off the tongue readily. (That can be an important feature!)

"Sparkle Dreams" has a nice ring to it, slips off the tongue readily. (That can be an important feature!)

Ooh, that sounds magical girl-y. I'm trying to find just the right mix of:
-"has a nice ring to it, slips off the tongue readily" like you said
-evokes magical girls (and differentiates it from a normal magic fantasy questing RPG)
-evokes the weird, dark vibes this has

"Sparkle of Dreams" might be it. "Sparkle of Nightmares" is darker, but I don't know if I like the ring or if it's too edgy. "Puellae Tenebris" evokes Puella Magi Madoka Magica, one of the major inspirations, and might attract the attention of its fans, but it also sounds kind of edgy.

Having a Madoka-esque subtitle sounds like a happy medium. And for some reason the word "Gloam" is refusing to leave my head regarding this.

Having a Madoka-esque subtitle sounds like a happy medium. And for some reason the word "Gloam" is refusing to leave my head regarding this.

Well, I'm about to roll out "Puellae Tenebris" on a roleplay website to see how much interest it gets! "Dream Maidens: a dark magical girl story" got enough for a playgroup, so we'll see.

Hey,

Sorry to necropost, but I recently disabled link sharing for this because I'm not confident in the hack's writing or playability in its current state. I don't want the general public looking at it right now, and I probably won't for a while.

Please do not request access to it unless you need it for a game you had in progress, or something similarly urgent.