Custom Playbook: The Jinx

I've been working on a custom playbook for my group, and I wanted to see if there are any glaring mistakes or anything. I could go on a long introduction, but I think it would just be best to post what I have. Introducing...

The Jinx

Bad shit happens. Sometimes there’s a reason, sometimes not. Mostly, though, YOU are the reason.

Creating a Jinx

To create your jinx, choose name, look, stats, moves, gear, curse, and Hx.

Name

Ark, Devil, Lips, Name, Spanner, Thing, Wimsey, Wizard, X

Look

Man, Woman, Ambiguous, Concealed, Transgressing

Casual Wear, Scrounge Wear, Ritual Wear, No Wear

Plain Face, Innocent Face, Disfigured Face, Inhuman Face, Scarred Face, Covered Face

Cruel Eyes, Haunted Eyes, Innocent Eyes, Wandering Eyes, Wise Eyes, Hidden Eyes

Slim Body, Boney Body, Crippled Body, Graceful Body, Hunched Body, Strange Body

Stats

Choose one set:

Cool+1 Hard-1 Hot+0 Sharp+1 Weird+2
Cool-1 Hard+0 Hot+1 Sharp+1 Weird+2
Cool+1 Hard+1 Hot+0 Sharp-1 Weird+2
Cool+2 Hard+0 Hot-1 Sharp-1 Weird+2

Moves

You get all the basic moves, and two Jinx moves.

Jinx Moves

Pick Two:

Dark Embrace
When you intentionally inflict your curse, mark experience.

Black Magic
When someone wrongs you (your call), roll+ weird, and say what horrible thing happens to them. On a 10+, they definitely won't be coming near you anytime soon. On a miss, they narrowly avoid their fate, but know you are to blame.

Bad Luck Charm
When you interfere with someone who’s rolling, roll+weird instead of +Hx. In addition, you can always interfere with any roll, regardless of distance, without explanation.

Death Follows
When you go into battle, roll+weird. On a 10+, name each person who will die. On a 7–9, name only one person who will die. Never name a player’s character; name NPCs only. The MC will make your vision come true, if it’s even remotely possible. On a miss, you foresee your own death, and accordingly take -1 throughout the battle.

Dark Omens
When you tell another player’s character how things are going to go horribly wrong, roll+weird. On a 10+, you hold 1 on them. On a 7-9, you each hold 1 on the other. On a miss, they hold 1 on you. This hold can be spent 1-for-1 to turn any roll the other player makes into a miss, and have them mark experience.

Voodoo
When you suffer harm, name who you hold responsible and roll+harm suffered. On a 10+, they take 3-harm (ap) sometime soon. On a 7-9, they only take 1-harm (ap). On a miss, they will die.


Gear

You get
- 1 unconventional weapon
- 1 ritual tool
- fashion suitable to your look

Unconventional Weapon (choose 1):
- Attack Animal (2-harm valuable alive) your choice and yours to detail
- Sharpened Teeth and Nails (2-harm hand)
- Antique Musket (2-harm close loud slow valuable)
- Homebrewed Poison (2-harm ap infinite intimate)
- Car Battery and Jumper Cables (3-harm ap intimate)

Ritual Tools (choose 1):
- A Familiar (valuable alive) your choice and yours to detail
- Arcane Tattoos (implanted)
- Ornate ritual dagger (1-harm hand valuable)
- Bone Necklace (worn)
- Relic from the Golden Age (hi-tech valuable)
- Inhuman Third Eye (worn OR implanted)

Curse

You are cursed. This curse cannot be lifted, no matter what.

The curse afflicts (pick one):
_ Those I care for
_ Those I touch
_ Those I harm
_ Those who meet my gaze
_ Those who speak my name
_ Everyone, spreading like a disease
_ Myself


The curse inflicts (pick one):
_ Illness, where they (circle one) die slowly, die quickly, die painfully, live in agony
_ Loss, of all their (circle one) wealth, sanity, friends and family
_ Disappearance, for (circle one) days, weeks, months, ever
_ Horrible nightmares, about (circle one or two) birds, wolves, swarms of insects, unknowable monsters, being chased, being eaten alive, falling endlessly, the golden age, before the golden age, the far future, another reality, grinding gears hidden inside the fabric of reality
_ Transformation into something inhuman, with (circle one, two, or three) claws, razor teeth, thousands of eyes, monstrous wings, a chitinous shell, a dripping maw, insatiable hunger, insatiable lust, a screech that makes your ears bleed, no trace of their former self
_ Transformation into (circle one) stone, salt, glass, gold, silver, ash, bark and leaves, radioactive ooze, metal and wiring


When you die, say who is at fault. They take on the curse, as your body vanishes into the Maelstrom. The curse remains exactly the same as it is recorded on your sheet. If they are killed, it passes to the next person, and so on, forever.


Hx

Which one of you took me in, not knowing I’d be nothing but trouble?
For that person, write Hx+1

Which one of you did I ruin the life of?
For that person, write Hx+3.

For everyone else, write Hx-1. You don’t tend not to have people around for long.

Jinx Special

When you and another character have sex, tell them how they are going to die. Whenever they try to avoid this fate, they take -1 ongoing. If they accept their fate, and do nothing to prevent it, they take +1 forward and mark experience.

Improvement

_ Get +1 Cool (max +2)
_ Get +1 Hard (max +2)
_ Get +1 Sharp (max +2)
_ Get +1 Hot (max +2)
_ Get a new Jinx move
_ Get a new Jinx move
_ Gain a ritual site (workspace, you detail) plus augury
_ Get a move from another playbook
_ Get a move from another playbook
_ Get a move from another playbook

Barter

At the beginning of the session, spend 1- or 2-barter for your lifestyle. If you can’t or won’t, tell the MC and answer her questions. If you need jingle during a session, tell the MC you’d like to work a gig. Your gigs:

-Curse an enemy population for a Warlord
-Curse an enemy for wealthy NPC
-Curse someone in a way where you inherit their wealth
-Others, as you negotiate them

---

I think it's worth mentioning that I am completely aware that the Death Follows move is almost identical to the Visions of Death move the battlebabe gets. Originally, they were just going to get that move as one of their options, but I decided against it for the reason that, around the Jinx, people die. A lot. That's kind of their thing. I didn't want to give them the option of choosing who gets to live, only who gets to die.

Other than that, I would really love any critique at all before I bring it to my table. Thanks!

I like the idea, and the fiction is super cool, but I worry it will lead to very antisocial characters. The closest existing playbook to my mind is the Brainer, but they have a lot of "helpful" tools that the other players can come to them to take advantage of and things like Unnatural Lust Transfixion that help attach them to other players and NPCs. I get that it's the whole point of the playbook that they bring bad luck, but that's not a recipe for a character that the other characters want to be around. While it's awesome for a character to end up as a villain over the course of a campaign, I don't see any situations where The Jinx would be an ally rather than an enemy. You could do with adding something to give them a reason to interact with other players and NPCs, and vice versa.


Fiction aside, on a mechanical level:

• Dark Embrace: From some of your options for who the curse inflicts, it is literally impossible for this move to ever trigger. Also, making it clearer what counts as intentional. My suggestion - "You can intentionally inflict your curse, if you do so mark experience"
• Lots of moves relying on +Weird rolls, not a problem per se, but make sure you're aware that there's no reason for the player to not pick the +1Weird move from the Brainer for their first upgrade
• Dark Omens: Make it a -1 to a roll rather than an automatic miss maybe, less feel-bad moments that way. Possibly increase the number of hold to make it a bit more powerful.
• Voodoo: Why is the result for a miss better than the result for a 10+? and what happens if you roll a miss versus a player?
• Love the gear lists, so much apocalyptica. Shouldn't Sharpened teeth and nails be implanted?
• The curse has lots of good fictional teeth, but could do with a mechanical effect. Maybe change threat types for NPCs similar to the Show? Also, less death more living in agony will lead to cooler story moments. It's going to be a pretty miserable game if everyone your character talks to just straight-up dies with no way to avoid it; especially for other players who can never touch/meet your gaze/speak your name or they just have their character die.
• Change the special to "the next time they..." rather than whenever they confront your prediction. The way it's currently worded, you can tell the Skinner he'll die in a hail of bullets and now he takes -1 every time he tries to talk his way out of a situation without violence, and that majorly sucks for that player; and not in the fun way.

Very cool idea overall, just needs some more iterations. I look forward to seeing the changes you make.

Thanks for your advice! It's all very spot on, and I'll make some updates with this in mind. On your note about them just taking the Brainer move for +1 weird, should I just add that to the playbook? I felt like it was always an option with the "take a move from another playbook" advancement, I just felt like it wouldn't be the best idea to give it to them as a starting move option.

Voodoo has been a work in progress since the beginning, but my thoughts behind them Dying on a miss is that Death isn't always the best option. Often times, such as when it's another player who hurt you, or when the fight wasn't intended to be to-the-death, having them die will lead to more complications than solutions. On 3-harm, they are maimed and dying, so they can't or won't fuck with you. On 1-harm, they are hurt, but it isn't serious enough to have them want to seek vengeance. Death is often an extreme. And if another player does indeed hurt you, death doesn't mean the character is gone. They can come back with less hard or more weird, so in that way it's not much more different than a Waterbearer being forced to execute themselves with the Lawbringer move. Those are my thoughts about it anyway. I am very open to other suggestions or interpretations on how it might work instead.

Some modified moves:

Dark Embrace
You can inflict your curse intentionally through some ritual or rite (you detail). When you intentionally inflict your curse, mark experience.

Dark Omens
When you tell another player’s character how things are going to go horribly wrong, roll+weird. On a 10+, you hold 1 on them. On a 7-9, you each hold 1 on the other. On a miss, they hold 1 on you. This hold can be spent 1-for-1 to give the player a -2 on their roll, as if you had roll a 10+ on interfering, and have them mark experience.

It's just, like, all the same thing over and over, in twelve different moves, and then plus a curse. I'd rather play any other playbook who just happens to be 'jinxed/cursed' -- have you considered turning this into a playbook expansion of some kind?

Alternately I feel like you need to find another dimension for this playbook, other than making everything shitty for everyone in the most straightforwardly mechanical way possible. Like, the curse is fictionally interesting, but every other move feels like it's just penalty to roll, harm, extra harm, you die!, you die!, etc. Would suggest reviewing Johnstone Metzger's 'Heralds of Hell' playbooks if you can track down a digital copy, for ideas on villainous/bad news playbooks that are still iconic.

Also, Black Magic's 7-9 sounds like a miss to me. A 7-9 should still involve success of some kind.

Daniel, I see your point. A lot of the moves end up doing the same thing. I'm going to work on adding some variety. The idea is supposed to be focused on things going to shit wherever you go, but you can sometimes turn it in your favor. I'll try to focus more on the "in your favor" part for the moves.

For black magic, I think you misread it. The horrible thing happens on a 7-9, but they don't necessarily blame you, or know it was you. On a 10+, now they are afraid of you, and on a miss they avoided it, but still know you did something. On a 7-9, the bad thing just happens, and that is the success.

I'd rather play any other playbook...

^This caught my eye and seemed worth mentioning. You know how in the core playbooks, there's a brief description of why to play that particular playbook? "If you want everybody else to be at least a little bit afraid of you, a brainer is a good choice" that sort of thing. Have a think about what you want that section to look like for the Jinx, because at the moment it seems like it would read "Play the Jinx if you want everyone to groan whenever you roll on one of your moves"


A few suggestions for moves you could have to replace some existing ones, I'll leave the names and stuff up to you if you want to use them:

• You can go aggro using your curse as the weapon
• Ask 1 more question when reading someone who's cursed. Maybe write a list of new questions, similar to Sniffing the Air on the Child-Thing (Makes sense that the Jinx would know how cursed people tend to react, they've been around them their entire life)
• +1Weird (Brainer and Savvyhead both have this already, so no worries about breaking any other playbooks by including this)
• If you leave your safety in the hands of chance, get +1 armor (enemy guns jamming, suddenly getting distracted, missing what should be a clean shot, etc.)

I don't see Black Magic mentioned in the above critique, but it's really one of the worst offenders in terms of an unworkable mechanic. It can paralyze PCs for life with no chance of them resisting, for example.

Gain a ritual site (workspace, you detail) plus augury <=== Why do they get a double improvement?
A workspace and augury? Augury should probably be moved into a the moves section with something thematic about it. Though honestly, I think you should use this version as a rough draft and start from scratch. First settle on a concept that other people say, oh cool That would be fun to play / play with / make the world more interesting. Then if you want to make it curse based... figure a way to make that curse become more interesting then it just happens. Maybe cursed works like Hypnosis, but the opposite, you can get in their way, fuck them over, force their hand, whatever; but it's hold over them not fictional declaration.

You should never make a move to be used against the players. Make it to be used against the world, and if it can also be used on players, detail how if it's different.

What about reversing the playbook? Instead of someone who makes shit around them worse, he's someone that thrives in an environment where shit just goes badly. Maybe he's there to sell them luck? Maybe it's just a lot of act under fire in different clothing, maybe he can do shit on a miss, maybe he's charm-centric, good luck charms, cursed charms, whatever. Anyway you wanna slice it.

---------

P.S. Death is probably one of the most narratively uninteresting repercussions.

I've gotten a lot of good advice, and I've tried to make this more presentable. I am aware it's not really at the playable stage yet, but I'd like more critique if it's available. I've changed a lot, but it still needs work. I'm still really iffy on how Black Magic works, this being the fourth iteration of it, Maelstrom Voodoo I feel might be too powerful, and The Maelstrom Provides feels pretty bland right now. With that in mind, let me have it.

Introducing...

The Jinx

In this wasteland, everything seems to die. Occasionally, you’ll see a glimmer of hope, as people band together. Walls are built. There’s food, clean water, order amongst the chaos of it all. Almost like it never happened. For once, things seemed to be going right. And then you show up.

Creating a Jinx

To create your jinx, choose name, look, stats, moves, gear, curse, and Hx.

Name

Ark, Devil, Lips, Name, Spanner, Thing, Wimsey, Wizard, X

Look

Man, Woman, Ambiguous, Concealed, Transgressing

Casual Wear, Scrounge Wear, Ritual Wear, No Wear

Plain Face, Innocent Face, Disfigured Face, Inhuman Face, Scarred Face, Covered Face

Cruel Eyes, Haunted Eyes, Innocent Eyes, Wandering Eyes, Wise Eyes, Hidden Eyes

Slim Body, Boney Body, Crippled Body, Graceful Body, Hunched Body, Strange Body

Stats

Choose one set:

Cool+1 Hard-1 Hot+0 Sharp+1 Weird+2
Cool-1 Hard+0 Hot+1 Sharp+1 Weird+2
Cool+1 Hard+1 Hot+0 Sharp-1 Weird+2
Cool+2 Hard+0 Hot-1 Sharp-1 Weird+2

Moves

You get all the basic moves, and two Jinx moves.

Jinx Moves

Pick Two:

Stranger Things
You get +1 weird (max +3 weird)

Black Magic
You can extend the reaches of your curse to others, with the right rituals. To curse someone, say who and roll+weird. On a 10+ hold 2, on a 7-9 hold 1. Spend your hold 1-for-1 on the following.
- They fall ill, or are hurt through an unforeseen accident. They take 1-harm (ap)
- They lose something valuable or important. They lose one thing worth up to 3-barter, or something else if the MC agrees. If it’s big, like a car, or the person keeps really good track of it, this won’t work.
- Things won’t go their way. They take -1, right now.
- They have horrible nightmares and visions. If they are an NPC, they are out of comission for a while. If they are a PC, they have to roll the open your brain move.
On a miss, your curse rebounds, and the MC holds 1 against you.

The Maelstrom Provides
When you want a thing- a person, an item, or whatever- sacrifice something you think is of equal value to the Maelstrom and roll+weird. On a 10+, what you wanted shows up mysteriously, without explanation. On a 7-9, your sacrifice wasn’t enough, but the MC will tell you what would be: sacrifice that, and you get your thing. On a miss, be prepared for the worst.

Dark Rites
Your ritual item, given the right preparations, can be directly attuned to the Psychic Maelstrom. When you spend an extended time preparing a ritual, you can use it for augury.

Horrid Visage
When you meet someone important (your call) for the first time, roll+weird. On a hit, they fear you, and will not attack unless you make yourself a clear threat. On a 10+, you take +1 forward for dealing with them as well. On a miss, they are not afraid of you, but you are afraid of them.

Maelstrom Voodoo
You channel the Maelstrom to directly attack someone's mind and spirit. You must either have your target present, or have an idol of that person (a picture would work), and have time and intimacy with it. Roll+weird. On a 10+, they take ?-harm. On a 7-9, you both take ?-harm. On a miss, only you take ?-harm.

Gear

You get
- 1 unconventional weapon
- 1 ritual tool
- fashion suitable to your look

Unconventional Weapon (choose 1):
- Attack Animal (2-harm valuable alive) your choice and yours to detail
- Sharpened Teeth and Nails (2-harm hand implanted)
- Antique Musket (2-harm close loud slow valuable)
- Homebrewed Poison (2-harm ap infinite intimate)
- Car Battery and Jumper Cables (3-harm ap intimate)

Ritual Tools (choose 1):
- A Familiar (valuable alive) your choice and yours to detail
- Arcane Tattoos (implanted)
- Ornate ritual dagger (1-harm hand valuable)
- Skull and bone amulet (worn)
- Relic from the Golden Age (hi-tech valuable)
- Inhuman Third Eye (worn OR implanted)

Curse

You are cursed. This curse cannot be lifted, no matter what.

At the start of every session, roll+weird. On a 10+, choose 1. On a 7-9, either choose 1 and get -1 next time you roll this move, or nothing happens and get +2 next time. On a miss, nothing happens.
- The crops won’t grow, and the water is drying up. If you are in a hold, (+want: hungry), otherwise everyone must spend an additional barter on Lifestyle.
- An illness spreads, with you at ground zero. If you are in a hold, (+want: disease), otherwise everyone take 2-harm (ap) from the illness
- Nightmares of the horrible future plague everyone. If you are in a hold, (+want: anxiety) otherwise everyone must roll the open your brain move.
- Society is beginning to collapse around all of you, savagery swelling up, people forming packs like feral dogs. If you are in a hold, (+want: savagery), otherwise tell the MC that NPCs nearby have formed a Hunting Pack (impulse: to victimize anyone vulnerable), and ask what happens.
- If something bad happened in the recent past, even if it wasn’t your fault, people are blaming you. Tell the MC that NPCs nearby have formed a Mob (impulse: to riot, burn, kill scapegoats), and ask what happens.
- Your curse infects the land itself. Tell the MC that the land around you changed, becoming a Breeding Pit (impulse: to generate badness), and ask what happens.
- Something is born from your soul, separating, and latching on to whatever it can. Tell the MC that an NPC becomes a Perversion of Birth (impulse: craves overthrow, chaos, the ruin of all), and ask what happens
- You can hold back the curse, if you want, but the effects really fuck you up. Take ?-harm.


In addition, your curse has some side effects.

Where you walk (circle one), plants die, vines and flowers writhe and dance, water evaporates, the air grows stale, the winds howl angrily, stone begins to crack, the earth groans beneath you, the shadows whisper, the shadows shriek in pain, animals vanish, feral animals follow, birds circle in the sky

People you meet (circle one), never remember your face, never remember your voice, feel sick for a while, feel anxious for a while, feel like they are being watched, wake up with strange marks, hear whispering from the shadows, hear the grinding gears hidden in the fabric of reality, lose track of time, count the seconds that pass

In your sleep (circle one), you have visions of the far future, you have visions of before the golden age, you have nightmares of inhuman things, your body vanishes ‘til you wake, your body transforms into something else, the shadows speak to you, you hear the heartbeats of all living things, your spirit leaves your body

Finally, when you die, say who is at fault. They take on the curse, as your body vanishes into the Maelstrom. The curse remains exactly the same as it is recorded on your sheet. If they are killed, it passes to the next person, and so on, forever.

Hx

Which one of you took me in, not knowing I’d be nothing but trouble?
For that person, write Hx+1

Which one of you did I ruin the life of?
For that person, write Hx+3.

For everyone else, write Hx-1. You don’t tend not to have people around for long.

Jinx Special

When you and another character have sex, tell them how you think they are going to die. The next time they try to avoid this fate, they take -1 ongoing. If they accept their fate, and do nothing to prevent it, they take +1 forward and mark experience.

Improvement

_ Get +1 Cool (max +2)
_ Get +1 Hard (max +2)
_ Get +1 Sharp (max +2)
_ Get +1 Hot (max +2)
_ Get a new Jinx move
_ Get a new Jinx move
_ Gain a ritual site (workspace, you detail)
_ Gain followers (you detail) and fortunes
_ Get a move from another playbook
_ Get a move from another playbook

Barter

At the beginning of the session, spend 1- or 2-barter for your lifestyle. If you can’t or won’t, tell the MC and answer her questions. If you need jingle during a session, tell the MC you’d like to work a gig. Your gigs:

-Curse an enemy population for a Warlord
-Curse an enemy for wealthy NPC
-Take payment to stay away from a certain hold
-Others, as you negotiate them

Yes! Much better!


I like all of the new moves, but since you asked, a few points:

• Maybe Maelstrom Voodoo would work better as a modified Go Aggro with rolling +Weird and inflicting ?-harm, to give the MC a better idea of what they should say in response
• Don't worry about balancing the "lose something" option by putting a barter limit on it; if the item is super valuable then the character should be keeping track of it anyway and cutting that bit makes it less wordy. "They lose one thing that isn't big and they don't keep careful track of (decide what with your MC)"
• I see what you're going for with the curse being worse on a hit (I had a custom move in one of my games which worked the same) but that might confuse some players, and makes taking +1Weird actually quite bad. Also, keeping constant track of the +2 or -1 could be a bit annoying. I would flip the results so a 10+ is good - they're keeping control of the curse, which is easier if they're weirder - and cut the +2/-1 in favour of just picking 1 option, or 2 on a miss.
• On the special move, you don't need to say they take -1 ongoing. "They take -1 the next time they try to avoid their fate" would be enough to give the move some teeth without adding confusion as to when they're no longer in the same "avoiding their fate" situation

Overall, much improved. Can't wait to see where you go from here.

Much better.

BlackMagic: You should write this one split, with one list of effects against npcs and one against pcs. Some of these things are not equitable between the two of them. This will also give you more freedom in terms of how to handle it mechanically. Considering you can save the strict mechanical effects for pc-on-pc and instead focus purely on narrative effects for pc-on-npc. Right now it seems a bit split down the middle. I also think there should be an action they can take, or a set of things they can try to do that remove your hold over them. You should also make it clear if they know whether or not they're cursed by you, and what that means.

Horrid Visage: What does you're afraid of them mean? This doesnt seem like an invitation for an MC to make a hard roll, it seems to suggest an status effect on the character. Does this have a duration? Or is this forever, no one can touch me unless I threaten them / curse them? If so, does that mean the PC must now always be afraid of the NPC on a miss? I'm fairly certain my group would lynch me if I told them that.

Thanks for the advice! I've done some tweaking, I'd love your thoughts. Black Magic still feels... wrong somehow. I can't seem to pin down how exactly I want it to work. Maybe it's just to wordy. The last option for players definitely seems overpowered, or like something players shouldn't be able to do. For this Maelstrom Voodoo, I like it, but I liked the intimacy with an idol aspect of the other version, and I couldn't figure out how to fit it in this way.

Black Magic
You can extend the reaches of your curse to others, with the right rituals. To curse someone, say who they are and how they wronged you, then roll+weird. On a 10+ hold 3, on a 7-9 hold 1.
For NPCs, spend your hold 1-for-1 on the following.
- They fall ill, or are hurt in an unforeseen accident.
- They lose something important or valuable that isn’t too big or they keep careful track of (discuss what with your MC).
- Their luck turns sour, failing where there would normally be success.
- They are plagued by horrible nightmares and visions.
For PCs, spend your hold 1-for-1 on the following.
- They fall ill, or suffer an accident, and take 1-harm (ap).
- They lose something important or valuable that isn’t too big or they keep careful track of (discuss what with your MC), or they lose 1-barter.
- Their luck turns sour. Pick a non-basic move they have. The next time they use that move, they must act under fire first.
When they first feel the effects of the curse, they will know, and know why, and know how to lift it. They can expend all your hold righting their wrong, by begging for your forgiveness, or sacrificing something of value to the Maelstrom. On a miss, your curse rebounds, and the MC holds 1 against you.

Maelstrom Voodoo
When you go aggro on someone, threatening their mind and soul rather than their body, roll+weird. If they force your hand, they take ?-harm.

Much better!
I'd tweak these few bullets, still.

for NPCs
- They fall ill, or are hurt in an unforeseen accident.
• They fall ill or suffer an accident and take 1-harm (ap).

If you can deal harm to PCs you can deal it to NPCs too. The harm means more against them, sure, but that's half the point. Dealing one harm is a pretty useful hold. I'm not sure this move needs this at all though, and I would consider dropping it.

- Their luck turns sour, failing where there would normally be success.
• You curse their fate when they need it the most. You can hit 10+ to aid-another PC rolling against them, even if you aren't there, or bring misfortune upon them in their current endeavor.

Probably too wordy, not sure I like this, but it felt like it could turn a PCs miss into essentially a hit, and that didn't sit well with me. This is a nice boon, and the latter is vague enough that even if they succeed, it clearly wasn't how they intended to. Which seems more narratively interesting then they just fail, no matter how stacked the odds were in their favor.

- They lose something important or valuable that isn’t too big or they keep careful track of (discuss what with your MC).
• Something they care about gets twisted, lost, or taken. (The MC will tell you what)

I think this is better then the lose something important, because this could be a relationship, it could be gift, it could be their pride, it could be any number of things and definitely constitutes a curse. I Dont believe the PC should be able to tell you what it is though, let the narrative, let the maelstrom tell you what it is, all the PC did was unleash it. I think you'll find that what gets taken is often pretty apparent anyway, but this also provides you with the ability to make them lose something they didn't even know they cared about. It adds potential narrative depth; rather then targeted PC attacks against (some of) their things.

PCs:
- They lose something important or valuable that isn’t too big or they keep careful track of (discuss what with your MC), or they lose 1-barter.
• Something they care about gets twisted, lost, or taken. (The MC will tell them what)

Same as above. It starts a snowball of shit for a PC. Although I wary how far this hold will go now. I think it might be best to do 2-hold 1-hold, rather then 3. That seems a bit much, especially since all they have to do is curse them again to renew it... There was  thread before about someone spamming hypnosis and how to deal with it, seeing this hold spammed against a PC? Dunno yet.

- Their luck turns sour. Pick a non-basic move they have. The next time they use that move, they must act under fire first.
• Spend a hold to force them to act under fire to do whatever it is they're attempting to do right now.

Why limit this to non-basic moves? That seems a trivial distinction. I'm not even sure why they need to limit it to moves at all. Forcing them to act under fire to walk down a hallway seems fine enough to me. Although I think this is far cooler then the harm aspect of this move. In that light I might suggest dropping the harm options for PCs and NPCs entirely.

The Miss... I'm thinking the miss might need to be more pronounced for this guy. Since this is in place of making a hard move against them, maybe a -1 ongoing until they apologize to the person or sacrifice something they care about to the maelstorm or something. As for the nightmares, I see no reason you cant give them to a PC too.

Thank you again for your help Ebok. I like the way you rephrased the "lose something" option for Black Magic. I also like your suggestion for acting under fire, but I fear that may be straying too close to Hypnotism. The reason why the "fall ill or suffer an accident" wasn't listed as damage against NPCs, the misfortune against NPCs didn't have a listed effect, and the nightmares option wasn't for players to, was because I was trying to separate the PC and NPC list by narrative versus mechanical effect, as was suggested. I feel like the mechanical effects will do little against NPCs because of their design, while against players narrative effects should be incredibly powerful, or uninteresting without a mechanical bite.

The lose something option, especially how you rephrased it, is a good balance that I love, but I am at a loss for how to hit that balance with other options. I'm going to do a lot of thinking about it, and post when I've figured something out.

Again, thank you to everyone for your great advice and critiques.

I'm sure you're all sick of me at this point, but I think I'm getting pretty close this time. Let me know if this seems functional.


Black Magic
When you curse someone, say who they are and how they wronged you, then roll+weird. On a 10+ hold 2, on a 7-9 hold 1.
- PCs, as long as you have hold, take -1 ongoing.
- NPCs, as long as you have hold, have +1 to all rolls against them.

In addition, you may spend your hold 1-for-1 on the following.
- Something they care for is lost, taken, or twisted. (The MC will tell you what)
- Someone they trust turns, or is turned, against them. (The MC will tell you who)
- Somewhere they think is safe or stable becomes dangerous or unpredictable. (The MC will tell you where)

When you curse someone, they know, they know why, and they know how to lift it. They can expend all your remaining hold by righting their wrong, by begging for your forgiveness, or by sacrificing something of value to the Maelstrom. On a miss, your curse rebounds, and will suffer until you sacrifice something of value to the Maelstrom, begging for its forgiveness.