When you bring someone to Gods Corpse, roll+barter spent-2. On a hit, the Corpse picks a piece of brainer gear or a brainer move. They now count as that gear, or have that move, and also add insanity to their threat.
On a 10+, the Corpse controls their actions.
On a 7-9, no one has any clue.
On a miss, they die, messily, then come back, and the maelstrom takes interest.
Thoughts? Just something I came up with today, remembering a question I had a while back about buying brainer gear.