Infinite Worlds: Ultra-Light PbtA Hack...

I made this a month or so ago and was hoping to get some feedback. This is a Risus-level rules light hack, though it lacks the humorous bent, that takes a few points from Fate games.

This hack uses player-written traits, a single resolution mechanic (no specific moves like World of Dungeons), and consequences instead of hit points.

The text may seem familiar as it's partially pulled from a few other AW hacks.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/13825925/Infinite%20Worlds.pdf

I think the whole document would read better without the GM Moves part. 

You don't really go into detail enough about what Soft Moves and Hard Moves are for that part to be worth anything, and most of what you want to say there is already covered in your description under "Actions".  That's really where you want attention focused. 

The GM Moves section offers decent advice for someone who already knows what those two things are, but doesn't explain them very well.  (I think a couple examples would help.)  It's probably better just to omit that whole section rather than confuse people. 

Other than that, it seems clear, concise, and playable.  The only ambiguity I see is that story points change a 6- roll to a 7-9 roll before the dice are rolled which 1) is a temporal paradox, and 2) doesn't describe what happens to the story point if you do not roll a 6-.  So even though its not hard to understand, that section could use a little bit of editing.

I think the whole document would read better without the GM Moves part.

Okay, so you're suggesting I remove the GM moves section entirely, got it.

You don't really go into detail enough about what Soft Moves and Hard Moves are for that part to be worth anything, and most of what you want to say there is already covered in your description under "Actions".  That's really where you want attention focused. 

The GM Moves section offers decent advice for someone who already knows what those two things are, but doesn't explain them very well.  (I think a couple examples would help.)  It's probably better just to omit that whole section rather than confuse people.

Okay, so you're also suggesting I expand the GM moves section and include examples... er, got it.

Other than that, it seems clear, concise, and playable.  The only ambiguity I see is that story points change a 6- roll to a 7-9 roll before the dice are rolled which 1) is a temporal paradox, and 2) doesn't describe what happens to the story point if you do not roll a 6-.  So even though its not hard to understand, that section could use a little bit of editing.

Thanks for the feedback.

I like it: it's easy to follow, though it could do with a lot more examples of traits, rolls, advantage, gaining story points, spending story points, etc but as a set of mechanics, it's a good distillation of AW. I particularly like the definition of soft and hard moves, that's a good model for thinking about those.

I like it: it's easy to follow, though it could do with a lot more examples of traits, rolls, advantage, gaining story points, spending story points, etc but as a set of mechanics, it's a good distillation of AW. I particularly like the definition of soft and hard moves, that's a good model for thinking about those.

Awesome. Thanks. But as I said above, most of the text is lifted from other hacks. The hard and soft moves text is from Uncharted Worlds.

Okay, so you're suggesting I remove the GM moves section entirely, got it...

Okay, so you're also suggesting I expand the GM moves section and include examples... er, got it.

No, that wasn't what he was suggesting I think. He advises removing the GM moves section, because it will only confuse as is. He also says that for the existing GM moves section to be useful it would need expansion and examples. This doesn't contradict his earlier advice, but it does help explain what is lacking with the section he mentioned.

I would agree with his assessment. The references to GM moves would only be clear to someone already familiar with the *World system, but someone familiar with the system wouldn't need your hack in the first place. You could try to fix it, but it is probably best to remove it altogether for an ultra-light hack.