This is great. A lot of Fan skins by players new to MH have the "powerful supernatural creature" part but skip the "dysfunctional teenager" part. Yours, on the other hand, has heaps of both.
I love vermin's boon & the boons. It's a great idea, wonderfully executed.
I'd ditch the bit where strings go to the vermin and transfer to the vermin lord only when their nature is discovered. It's finicky. And also, it's high school--the other characters will blame that weirdo kid for the rats, even if they don't know he's an actual Vermin Lord.
Only PCs can roll steady, so stolen needs something for the 7-9 result when an NPC is the target.
Moves should have some kind of fictional trigger (even if it's as simple as "when you try to do this move"). Unseen eyes doesn't have one. What about:
"When you send your vermin to spy on a person or place for you, roll with dark. On a hit, they report back the details. On a 10+, choose 2, on a 7-9 choose 1:
-They identify the people involved
-They also report back details of a second person or place
-They were not seen"
I'm also confused by the gang option. What do are Meta-corporeal vermin demiurges supposed to be?