Mountebank playbook for review/playtest

I am in the process of working through a new playbook for Dungeon World. I'm looking for some guidance.

I have made an iBooks Author template for this playbook as my InDesign copy has proved to be hopeless to get working. The template is inspired by the layout of the existing playbooks, but lighter on the ink requirements. I do intend to release this as Creative Commons and sell it on RPGNow.

Mountebank

Everyone wants to believe something, and you capitalize on that. Subterfuge and persuasion are your weapons of choice. You have spent hours honing your skills of deception and suggestion, deftly mixing aptitude and confidence to achieve your goals.

Names
Halfling: Abe, Linda, Hank, Penny
Human: Saros, Jezel,

Look
Choose one for each:
Shifty eyes, Laughing eyes, or Trusting eyes
Fancy hair, Cropped hair, or Messy hair
Clean clothes, Traveling clothes, or Common clothes
Well-fed body, Attractive body, or Thin body

Stats
Your maximum hit points is 6+Constitution.
Your base damage is d6.

Alignment
Chaotic - Capitalize on confusion and misdirection
Neutral - Avoid the consequences of a brazen lie
Evil - Manipulate others for your personal gain

Gear
Your Load is 9+STR. You start with one dungeon rations (5 uses, 1 weight), leather armor (1 armor, 1 weight) and 7 coin.

Choose your treasure:

• A forged letter of marquis
• A fair maiden’s favor
• A ducal ring, obviously not yours
• A treasure map you conned from an angry dwarf
• A letter of credit from a crime lord

Choose your arms:

• Ragged hand crossbow (Near, reload, 1 weight), bundle of arrows (3 ammo, 1 weight) and short sword (Close, 1 weight)
• Rapier (close, precise, 1 weight)

Choose one:

• Adventuring gear (5 uses, 1 weight)
• Bandages (3 uses, slow 0 weight)
• Halfling pipeleaf (5 uses, 1 weight)

Bonds

_______________ still believes every word I say.
_______________ and I have narrowly escaped an angry victim of our con.
_______________ has a secret that I will uncover.
_______________ has thus far kept quiet about past indiscretions of mine.

Starting Moves

Choose a race and gain the corresponding move:

• Halfling - When you bluff someone, on a hit you may take from them a small item. The GM will tell you what you get.
• Human - When you attack a staggered or confused opponent, deal +1d6 damage.

Slippery Egress - When you attempt to slink away, Roll+CHA.  ?10+ you’re gone. ?7-9, you can stay or go, but if you go it costs you: leave something behind, or take something with you, the GM will tell you what. On a miss, you’re caught vulnerable, half in and half out.

Feint - When you attempt to sucker an intelligent foe in combat, Roll+CHA. ?10+ pick 2. ?7-9 pick 1 but you take the sucker’s damage.

• The sucker slips and staggers
• You press the sucker into an ally’s waiting attack
• An ally takes +1 forward against the sucker

Bluff - When you attempt to convince a GM’s character of something plausible, Roll+CHA. ?10+, they believe you. Their belief counts as leverage. ?7-9, they believe you though your lie is flimsy. Their belief counts as leverage for the time being. Choose 1:

• Once they have time to think about it, they'll see holes in your story.
• If someone else hears the story, they'll start asking question.

Advanced Moves

When you gain a level from 2–5, choose from these moves.

Alter Ego - With a week of intense introspection and practice, you can craft a personal alter ego that has its own look, clothing, and mannerisms. With a few seconds of concentration you can change to or from an alter ego. You may only have one crafted alter ego at a time. When you first take this move, describe the alter ego you just finished crafting.

Nondetection - Attempts to magically divine your location, thoughts, or alignment return no information.

Cold Read - When you briefly converse with someone, you may ask the character’s player one of the following questions:

• What here has caught your attention?
• Who here do you most want to interact with?
• Who here do you most want to avoid?
• What one word best describes a secret you are carrying?

Slippery Mind - When you are the target of an enchantment of the mind, you may choose to immediately dispel it without effect.

Noble Mien: When you use an Alter Ego that has authority over your mark, take +1 ongoing to Bluff them.

Savage Cunning: You can use Bluff and Feint on any creature with animal intellect or higher.

Partner in Crime: When someone Aids your Bluff by acting like the shill or straight man, take +2 instead of +1.

Play Possum: When you are successfully attacked, you can Feint to convince your attacker they have felled you. If you do, they turn their back on and ignore you. Of course no one goes for this more than once.

Multiclass Dabbler - Get one move from another class. Treat your level as one lower for choosing the move.

Confounding Feint - Add the following to your Feint options.

• The sucker stands there and drools helplessly for a few seconds

When you gain a level from 6–10, choose from these moves or the level 2–5 moves.

Cheat Death - Your skills as a liar are legendary, and even Death itself can be fooled. When you would roll for your Last Breath, roll Bluff instead. Your days are numbered, because Death will figure you out sooner or later, but you may just manage to stay alive long enough to figure something else out.

Inceptive Bluff - when you bluff on a 12+ they strongly believe and will convince others of this belief.

Multiple Egos Requires: Alter Ego - You may craft a second alter ego. You may only have two alter egos.

Probe Thoughts: Replaces: Cold Read - As Read Thoughts, but you may ask 2 questions instead of one.

Falsify Detection Replaces: Nondetection - When someone attempts to magically divine your location, thoughts, or alignment, you may choose the answer they receive.

Misdirecting Mind Requires: Slippery Mind - When you are target of an enchantment of the mind, you may choose someone, other than the caster to instead be affected by the enchantment.

Hide in Plain Sight - So long as you remain quiet and mostly still, mundane creatures will overlook you.

Barbed Feint - When you feint on a 12+ you may also deal your damage.

Multiclass Master - Get one move from another class. Treat your level as one lower for choosing the move.

You've spent literally hours honing your skills.  So, basically, you shelled out for a 2-hour seminar on winning friends and influencing people?

Use 'mark' instead of 'sucker'.

Nondetection seems really off-screen and narrowly applicable.  Consider making it a active thing the player can do rather than a passive protection that is most often moot.  For example, When you misdirect those who search for you, roll+int. On a 10+, you know just how to throw them off.  On a 7-9, while you may not be able to throw them off, you sure can delay them.

Slippery mind has the same problem as non-detection.  Consider a move that lets you know when others are up to something, e.g. When you follow the currents of influence, roll+Cha.  On a 10+, you know their con well, who their mark is, and whether or not it will succeed.  On a 7-9, you can easily separate the sharks from the minnows.

Cold read - what do you really want?

Play possom should focus on what you do, e.g. convincingly play dead, rather than what the target's actions are.

For cheat death, consider a reroll rather than using bluff - no modifiers to your likely highest modifier is a huge jump.  Consider an upgraded 7-9 option for last breath instead of having death figure it out at some vague time in the future.

You've spent literally hours honing your skills.  So, basically, you shelled out for a 2-hour seminar on winning friends and influencing people?

Yes.

Use 'mark' instead of 'sucker'.

Changed

Nondetection seems really off-screen and narrowly applicable.  Consider making it a active thing the player can do rather than a passive protection that is most often moot.  For example, When you misdirect those who search for you, roll+int. On a 10+, you know just how to throw them off.  On a 7-9, while you may not be able to throw them off, you sure can delay them.

Yes. I'm rereading the Thief's "Flexible Morals" move and going to crib from that.

Slippery mind has the same problem as non-detection.  Consider a move that lets you know when others are up to something, e.g. When you follow the currents of influence, roll+Cha.  On a 10+, you know their con well, who their mark is, and whether or not it will succeed.  On a 7-9, you can easily separate the sharks from the minnows.

I'm feeling okay with Slippery Mind; though further tests will tell.

Cold read - what do you really want?

I want the player to have a mechanism for their character to have hints of information regarding potential marks. The Mountebank should be able to read people extremely well, and this gets that ball rolling.

Play possom should focus on what you do, e.g. convincingly play dead, rather than what the target's actions are.

Yes, I will rework this.

For cheat death, consider a reroll rather than using bluff - no modifiers to your likely highest modifier is a huge jump.  Consider an upgraded 7-9 option for last breath instead of having death figure it out at some vague time in the future.

I'm going to think on this one, as I like the Bluff Death concept, but think the phrasing can be tightened up.

Sorry, for cold read "-What do you really want" was a suggested optional question for the move.

Posting the discussion to Google+ as well.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/112258979021033246325/posts/Fnc5E9CWHuC