Feedback is appreciated, I'm worried that it might be too boring.
Yeah, it's a little boring. Who is this responsible, competent, inspiring person and what the heck are they doing in a Monsterhearts game? Needs a solid dose of dysfunction, ASAP:
* How about a 'Ripper' move -- unexpected resources/skills/memories/edginess from the character's past that help and complicate things in sexy ways.
* Voice of Experience is too easy -- when the Mentor gives advice in the MH genre, it never works out that smoothly. I'd love to see a move with some juicy 7-9 results, like offering experience to do the OPPOSITE of what the Mentor said, etc. I mean come on, since when do teenagers just
listen?* Apprentice is kind of neither here nor there. Is this person core to the skin or not really? I like the idea suggested above that the apprentice is automatically included, in which case the move could maybe be made more double-edged; after all, having an Apprentice is a responsibility. If they die under your tutelage that's a big deal, and they're a crazy teenager who never listens!
* An even stronger option along those lines would be to have the Apprentice work similarly to the Mortal's true love (look at Giles and Buffy and tell me these people are not dangerously co-dependent.)
* The Darkest Self makes sense, for an NPC -- for a PC it seems really passive. DSes should prescribe action, not inaction (the Ghost DS kind of has this problem too) -- becoming your Darkest Self is about becoming a monster, not becoming a less effective human.
* Voice of Reason 7-9 result: you can choose to become your Darkest Self in exchange for them leaving theirs? In fact I would make this the only way it works at 7-9 (or maybe add some other equally difficult options) and make the current 7-9 result the 10+ result. Forcing PCs to leave their DS seems sketchy to me.
* The Sex Move... are you telling me if Giles had sex with <any of the younger characters on Buffy> it would be a positive, fulfilling experience? Are you sure you wouldn't instead want to throw your television out the window and scrub yourself down with a wire brush? I don't want to sound moralistic here, but authority figures having sex with teenagers is not an unproblematic, easily-managed experience that works out well for everybody involved. And even if that could theoretically be true in real life, this is Monsterhearts! You're throwing away a huge opportunity to get some bloody fingerprints all over this skin.
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I think in general the current skin reads like all the upsides of being the go-to authority figure with none of the downsides. Maybe as a secondary playbook for a PC who is already full of angst and screwed-up teenage responsibilities, it will still work out, but I think the moves need to point much more strongly towards all the serious, engaging emotional difficulties that come with trying to be a mentor to a (monstrous) teenager. Especially a Mentor who is not their parent, and is some kind of monster themselves.
This is not an easy job, and more importantly it's a job that is rife with great fodder for drama -- especially when you realize that the Mentor in question is probably going to be just out of high school themselves, and only barely managing to keep this 'adult' shit together. (Not to harp on the sources, but think about Buffy trying to be Dawn's 'mom' in the later seasons, work at the high school, etc.) Adding that element in to the existing moves, or creating some new ones along those lines, could definitely help keep the boredom at bay.
Thematically/source-material wise, I would also think about characters like Lupin/Sirius from the Harry Potter books as well. Mentors should have lots of unsettled scores and regrets, and resentment at not being able to just do things themselves.