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brainstorming & development / Re: [Dark Galaxy]Death Dancer Playbook Feedback
« on: June 02, 2012, 02:39:05 PM »
True that I was only counting the optional moves.
In the 'writing playbooks guide' http://apocalypse-world.com/forums/index.php?topic=2248.0, it mentions that 'First, your moves have to be ones other playbooks could take'. Now, since this is for a hack, rather than 'pure' AW, you could just ignore that, but it does seem like good advice to me, especially when there are relatively few playbooks, so Dance of Death is making me give it suspicious looks. You are clearly trading in versatility for power. This is the only move of the DD that references signature weapons, so why isn't it 'Choose a weapon as your signature weapon. When you're using it, it has +1 harm and you have 1-armour (if you're wearing armour, use that instead)'? That lets other playbooks take it. If you're concerned over it being too powerful, then I feel the move should be altered, rather than limited in who can take it. Your choice, of course.
I do really like what you did with 'bow'. Although counting arrows I feel doesn't add enough to be worth the effort. How about 'after using a special arrow, roll +Cool. 10+: you're fine. 7-9: one left. Miss: all gone!' Or something, so you don't have 2 additional number to keep track of. (Also, it probably needs 'far')
I also like what you've done with Death Lab, but you comment about being able to create items with killing edge did present me with the amusing mental image of literally constructing an alibi or crew. More seriously, that does increase the use of taking edges like 'alibi' and 'crew' in your initial two, which cannot (presumably) be made in the Death Lab.
Interesting that you feel that a dramatic entrance where he shouldn't be strikes you as something Blade wouldn't do (Ahead of the Game), but fair enough. They were just quick ideas thrown out for inspiration.
(Something that I would point out is that 'Old Ghosts' is largely equivalent to 'Hunted', save for not being vulnerable to 'not just murder', which I just noticed. Having an NPC hunt you with the ability to kill any NPC off-screen does not a deadly (to you!) combination make.)
And so we're clear, for all that I seem to be criticising it, I do really like it.
In the 'writing playbooks guide' http://apocalypse-world.com/forums/index.php?topic=2248.0, it mentions that 'First, your moves have to be ones other playbooks could take'. Now, since this is for a hack, rather than 'pure' AW, you could just ignore that, but it does seem like good advice to me, especially when there are relatively few playbooks, so Dance of Death is making me give it suspicious looks. You are clearly trading in versatility for power. This is the only move of the DD that references signature weapons, so why isn't it 'Choose a weapon as your signature weapon. When you're using it, it has +1 harm and you have 1-armour (if you're wearing armour, use that instead)'? That lets other playbooks take it. If you're concerned over it being too powerful, then I feel the move should be altered, rather than limited in who can take it. Your choice, of course.
I do really like what you did with 'bow'. Although counting arrows I feel doesn't add enough to be worth the effort. How about 'after using a special arrow, roll +Cool. 10+: you're fine. 7-9: one left. Miss: all gone!' Or something, so you don't have 2 additional number to keep track of. (Also, it probably needs 'far')
I also like what you've done with Death Lab, but you comment about being able to create items with killing edge did present me with the amusing mental image of literally constructing an alibi or crew. More seriously, that does increase the use of taking edges like 'alibi' and 'crew' in your initial two, which cannot (presumably) be made in the Death Lab.
Interesting that you feel that a dramatic entrance where he shouldn't be strikes you as something Blade wouldn't do (Ahead of the Game), but fair enough. They were just quick ideas thrown out for inspiration.
(Something that I would point out is that 'Old Ghosts' is largely equivalent to 'Hunted', save for not being vulnerable to 'not just murder', which I just noticed. Having an NPC hunt you with the ability to kill any NPC off-screen does not a deadly (to you!) combination make.)
And so we're clear, for all that I seem to be criticising it, I do really like it.