Barf Forth Apocalyptica
powered by the apocalypse => Monsterhearts => Topic started by: pippo_jedi on May 04, 2013, 11:07:24 AM
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I just barfed a a Monsterhearts skin: The Walker
You can't take it any more. There is no hope and all is bleak and black around you.
You walk alone your life, no one understands you, no one cares about you.
But you have a plan, a very simple one: to stop struggling, to stop fighting, to stop the pain.
To stop living
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B2ZJou27io5BVlEwX0ZQYk5zUEk/edit?usp=sharing (https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B2ZJou27io5BVlEwX0ZQYk5zUEk/edit?usp=sharing)
This is version beta 01
feel free to comment in any way you like.
ps
english is not my native language so please bear some patience
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Hello Filippo,
This looks like a really fascinating skin. It gives a character a brush with death that's different from the Ghost or the Ghoul--I like that. I shall list my thoughts and commentary below:
- Why is it called the Walker? I feel like there's some reference I'm not picking up on here.
- Does Is this pain or pleasure? give Conditions?
- Does What else you got? work if you're only being dealt one Harm? How does the move interact with The downward spiral?
- I'm not sure how I feel with a regular skin move interacting with a growing up move. Maybe change the wording so it doesn't reference the move by name?
- I like the supernatural ambiguity the moves provide.
- Could you maybe give an example of how another character could cure the Walker's death obsessed Condition? Also, "death obsessed" sounds a little clunky. One of the Ghoul moves mentions the Condition morbid, and Was there a light at the end? is kind of similar to Ending. Maybe go with "morbid" instead?
- I see dead people is really cool because I can think of all sorts of potential drama to generate from it.
- Is there a particular reason Thought I'd something more to say is an actual move and not part of the Walker's Backstory?
I believe that's everything. Once again, I think this skin is really neat and has a lot of cool potential and makes my completely human and normal pedipalps all a-chitter.